The Mom diaries

Hello my friends,

Happy December, y’all! I’m savoring my second warm cup of coffee, feeling an overwhelming sense of joy as I gaze out over our yard, now transformed into a pristine blanket of snow. There’s something truly enchanting about this peaceful, frosted landscape—such a perfect way to welcome both December and the quiet magic of the winter season. Adding to the wonder, a super full moon is gracing the sky this Thursday, promising a surge of powerful energy and inspiration to carry us through these chilly days ahead.

This post is something a little different for me—a more personal entry into my life that marks the beginning of documenting my journey into new motherhood. As I navigate the toddler phase, I want to share the reality behind the scenes, peeling back the carefully curated images we often see on screens. Motherhood, especially in these early stages, is a blend of magic and chaos, triumphs and challenges, and it’s important to acknowledge that what’s portrayed online rarely captures the full picture. This space will be an honest reflection of both the joys and the raw moments, offering a real glimpse into the beautiful, imperfect adventure of raising a little one.

Motherhood has been a profound journey of self-discovery and transformation, teaching me invaluable lessons about patience, unconditional love, and resilience. Through nurturing another life, I’ve gained deeper insight into my own strengths and vulnerabilities, refined my understanding of human connection, and developed a more compassionate perspective on the world around me. It has illuminated what truly matters—presence, authenticity, and the nurturing of meaningful relationships—reminding me that the simplest moments often hold the greatest significance.

Motherhood has transformed me in profound and unexpected ways, awakening depths of emotion I had never encountered before. The love and vulnerability I experience daily with my daughter reveal not only joy but also bring to light buried truths and unhealed wounds from my past. This journey has become a catalyst for profound healing, forcing me to confront aspects of myself I once shelved away, ultimately fostering growth and a deeper connection to my own soul.

Not a lot of people talk about the dark stuff surrounding postpartum recovery—sure, there’s awareness about the immediate challenges, but the reality is far less discussed: it can take up to six years to truly feel back to normal. This extended period encompasses emotional, mental, and physical healing that many new mothers endure silently. The societal expectation to “bounce back” quickly ignores the complex and often invisible journey of regaining balance. Acknowledging this prolonged timeline is crucial for compassionate support and understanding that recovery isn’t linear or confined to the early months, but a profound transformation demanding patience and care.

Even though my daughter is now 21 months old, I continue to navigate the complexities of postpartum depression and the overwhelming new mom feelings that linger beneath the surface. The journey of motherhood is far from linear; the shadows of anxiety and exhaustion still weave through my days, reminding me that healing is an ongoing process. Accepting this reality with compassion rather than judgment allows me to seek the support I need while honoring the depth of my experience as both a mother and an individual.

I am still trying to work through the anger, rage, and the full range of overwhelming anxiety that grips me daily. There’s barely any time left to think for myself because I am constantly managing life for everyone else in my household. The nonstop demands leave me overstimulated, and as someone who is neurodivergent, this sensory overload is incredibly difficult to navigate. Tasks that typically took mere minutes now stretch out over several days to complete, draining my energy and further compounding the struggle to find balance within the chaos.

The hardest thing I am going through as a new mom is the crushing loneliness. Without a car due to a recent accident, I am confined within the walls of my home during the cold, isolating winter days. Amidst the quiet and the endless routines of caring for a toddler, pups, household, business, and family as a whole, my thoughts spiral, and to say I am going a little crazy would be a profound understatement. This isolation is a trial that tests not only my patience but my very sense of self, demanding resilience I didn’t know I had.

But I know I can do this. I understand that this is merely a season—temporary and bound to pass. The shadows I face now are part of the natural ebb and flow of life, challenges meant to be overcome rather than avoided. My love for my family and the life I am building grounds me, giving me strength and purpose. This obstacle, though daunting, is simply a step in my journey—one that I will work through with resilience and grace, emerging stronger on the other side.

So to all the moms out there, I see you, I get you, and we are in this together. The journey of motherhood is both beautiful and demanding, filled with moments of joy, exhaustion, and endless love. Whether you’re navigating sleepless nights, balancing work and family, or simply trying to find a moment for yourself, know that your strength and resilience do not go unnoticed. We’re united in this shared experience, supporting one another with empathy and grace as we walk the path of raising the next generation.

Thanks for joining me today on this little blip into my current daily life. It's a privilege to share these moments with you, offering a glimpse into the rhythms and rituals that shape my path. Each day holds its own magic, and by opening this space together, we create a subtle yet meaningful connection—an exchange of energy and intention that enriches both our journeys. May the insights and reflections we explore continue to inspire and guide you in your own unfolding story.

Big hugs,

Rebecca